


Punch! (Baby You Got Me Weak, I’m on My Knees)

by czar_feline



Category: Dead Kids (2019)
Genre: M/M, shift from tagalog to english to mix, written in tagalog english taglish
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22463191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/czar_feline/pseuds/czar_feline
Summary: “Mark, wag na kasi.” Janina said while trying to stop Mark from going to the gymnasium. “Janina naman, wala lang sakin kung ako yung binu-bully ni Chuck. But you’re a different story. Don’t expect me to just sit there and watch you cry because of that guy.” Tumigil na sa paglalakad si Mark which made Janina release a breath she’s been holding. However, it’s too late, they’re already inside the gymnasium where Chuck’s class is at.Mark then proceeded to search in the crowd and immediately saw Chuck. Janina was trying to keep her voice low and quiet while still trying to stop her friend. “Chuck!” Sigaw ni Mark which completely called the former’s attention. He has this smug look on his face. “What’s up, fag, I mean, Sta. Maria?” Chuck chuckled like the bully he is. And then, the next thing Mark knows is he threw a punch aimed perfectly at Chuck’s face, pero bakit ibang mukha yung nakita niya?“WHAT THE FUCK?” Yelled the guy na definitely ay hindi si Chuck because the dude is crouching down and laughing maniacally sa gilid niya. Gasps were heard and the whole gymnasium went quiet. Mark oh-so-carefully turned to look back at the guy he just punched and he’s fucked. It’s Charles Blanco.
Relationships: Charles Blanco/Mark Sta. Maria, StaBlanco
Kudos: 17





	Punch! (Baby You Got Me Weak, I’m on My Knees)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic is written in tagalog, english, taglish, ewan. hahhaha hope you'd enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing this kahit busy sa work and all. hahahhahahahhahahhuhu

Kakatapos lang ng shift ni Mark sa coffee shop malapit sa university na pinapasukan niya. Nag wo-work siya don as a part-time waiter. Hindi naman ganun kalaki yung pay, pero it helps him. Kaya lang parang kinukulang siya the past months, bukod sa projects ay pinapadalhan niya yung nanay niyang may sakit. _Hirap maging mahirap._ He thought as he sighed. Nag text ulit si Tita Bebe kanina, some empty threats about kicking him out. She always does that, but she doesn’t actually do it naman. Well, hindi pa naman.

Kinuha niya yung phone niya sa pocket and saw na it’s past 8PM. Maaga pa pero he can already feel the weight of sleep and exhaustion on his shoulders. Then, biglang nag ring yung phone niya.

“Hell- umiiyak ka ba Janina?” Hindi sumagot si Janina, patuloy lang siya sa pag iyak. “Janina, what’s wrong? Bakit ka umiiyak?”

After a few more seconds, Janina finally responded with “Si Chuck, may other woman.” Mark had a knack of if already, pero he refused to listen to his guts. Janina clearly loved Chuck, but the guy is a Grad A asshole. He’s disappointed, angry even, but not surprised. “Gago talaga yang si Chuck. Janina, you don’t deserve that. Bakit ba kasi ayaw mo pang hiwalayan?” 

Hindi na makapag salita si Janina, she just kept crying with Mark uttering words of comfort. Mark may sound calm and composed, but he’s fuming.

“Mark, wag na kasi.” Janina said while trying to stop Mark from going to the gymnasium. “Janina naman, wala lang sakin kung ako yung binu-bully ni Chuck. But you’re a different story. Don’t expect me to just sit there and watch you cry because of that guy.” Tumigil na sa paglalakad si Mark which made Janina release a breath she’s been holding. However, it’s too late, they’re already inside the gymnasium where Chuck’s class is at.

Mark then proceeded to search in the crowd and immediately saw Chuck. Janina was trying to keep her voice low and quiet while still trying to stop her friend. “Chuck!” Sigaw ni Mark which completely called the former’s attention. He has this smug look on his face. “What’s up, fag, I mean, Sta. Maria?” Chuck chuckled like the bully he is. And then, the next thing Mark knows is he threw a punch aimed perfectly at Chuck’s face, pero bakit ibang mukha yung nakita niya?

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Yelled the guy na definitely ay hindi si Chuck because the dude is crouching down and laughing maniacally sa gilid niya. Gasps were heard and the whole gymnasium went quiet. Mark oh-so-carefully turned to look back at the guy he just punched and he’s fucked. It’s Charles Blanco.

Although si Chuck talaga yung notorious bully at iniiwasan, mas takot ang tao kay Charles because of his brooding aura. Factor na din na he’s more muscular than Chuck and he’s a man of few words. People don't know what's going on in his head.

Of course, gulat si Mark na si Charles ang nasapak niya instead of Chuck and he’s scared. Pero too late na to take it back so he said “You deserve that!”

“WHAT?? I DESERVE THIS!?”

“Well, kaibigan mo yang si Chuck. Sana pinigilan mo yung kagaguhang ginagawa niya hindi yung enabler ka!” 

Charles’ expression turned scarier habang nilalapitan niya si Mark. “Di mo ako kilala, maghinay hinay ka sinasabi mo.” Mark was about to retaliate pero Janina interfered and pulled Mark with him.

Mark barely knows Charles, alam niya lang friends ito with Chuck kasi he sees them together. Pero now that he thinks about it, parang hindi rin ganon kadalas. If he’s gonna be honest, takot siya kay Charles, pero ‘di niya kailangan ipakita kasi he’ll bully him too, like Chuck. Pero it’s probably too late na to stay lowkey kasi ikaw ba naman, sapakin mo yung pinaka kinatatakutan sa school niyo, malamang pag uusapan ka ng lahat ng tao.

“Bakit kasi padalos dalos ka.” Janina said nung nakalayo na sila. Mark’s white as a paper.

“Ikaw lang naman inisip ko, bakit parang kasalanan ko pa?” Mark weakly replied. “Aba, hindi mo kasalanan? edi kasalan ko?” Mark cringed and they were quiet for a few minutes until Janina spoke again. “Di ko ineexpect na dadating yung time na makikita kitang manuntok. That was so not you. Pero thank you for standing up for me.” She smiled and offered him a hug.

Meanwhile, pinagtatawanan ni Paolo and Gideon si Charles kasi if it were another time or guy, hindi na magpipigil si Charles, sapak agad.

“May crush ka ba kay Sta. Maria?” Tanong ni Paolo who’s still clutching at his tummy. 

“Wala.” answered by Charles while touching his jaw. That Sta. Maria guy’s punch wasn’t that strong, obviously not used to fist fighting.

“E bakit di mo sinapak?” Now it’s Gideon.

“Bakit ko siya sasapakin? May ibang way naman para makaganti ako sa kanya.” That’s the thing with Charles though, he may have a brooding aura pero he won’t do anything bad unless gawan muna siya na masama. However, expect that he’d do his revenge twice or even thrice as bad ng kung anong ginawa sa kanya.

Police ang tatay ni Charles and it adds to the reason why people don’t mess with him. His family has the power and connections.

“Scholar yun si Sta. Maria diba?” He asked a little later, which surprised his friends. “Hey, bro. Anong plano mo? If you’re gonna take revenge on him, yung equal lang.” Said Gideon, he knows about Charles’ capability, it can get pretty messy. Because If you started it, prepare to face the doom kasi Charles will surely finish it.

The week passed by as if nothing happened, Charles, like he used to isn’t paying attention to Mark. Well, at least, he’s still not talking to him. Parang hangin lang siya pag nag kakasalubong sila. However, Mark’s seeing him more frequent, sa Library, sa Coffee Shop kung saan siya nag pa-part-time, and he even started sitting next to him sa shared classes nila.

Mark sighed, it has only been 30 minutes since he timed in sa part-time work niya and Charles is already making his way inside the coffee shop. “One Cafe Americano, please. Venti.” Charles said stoically which annoyed Mark more. This is what he has been doing. He pretends hindi sila mag kakilala but would passive-aggressively do things to annoy him.

“For?” Mark replied. If Charles is gonna do this, might as well sakyan niya ito and annoy the shit out of Blanco as well. “Blancs.” Charles said then he leaned down to the level of Mark’s face and continued, “Charles Blanco or I don’t know, you can write ‘the guy Mark Sta. Maria punched’.” with a smirk adorning his already smug _(but very handsome, shut up Mark)_ face.

Mark stared back at Charles without missing a single beat and yelled “One Cafe Americano for Shithead”. Instead of getting furious about it though, Charles, for whatever reason, kept thinking it was cute. _You're Fucked, Blancs._

It went on and on for days until it turned into a whole week of banter. In a few minutes, matatapos na shift ni Mark and he couldn’t be more excited. Pagod na pagod na siya, gusto niya na lang mahiga sa matigas niyang higaan para matulog at huwag nang gumising pa.

Wala nang customers around, nakaalis na a few minutes ago yung group of students na maingay. Well, he thought wala na talagang tao but when he turned towards the window side, may isang tulog na student with his notes scattered on the table. And wait for it, it’s none other than Charles Blanco.

“Blanco, gising na. Magcoclose na kami in a few minutes.” Mabilis naman nagising si Charles, kaya lang mas mabilis kumilos si Mark at habang nag aayos siya ng notes niya, paalis na yung isa.

Ang hindi alam ni Mark ay sinundan siya Charles papunta sa bahay niya. Pagdating ni Mark, nagulat siya nang makita ang mga gamit niya na nasa tabi na ng kalsada at si Tita Bebe ay galit na galit siyang sinalubong. “Tita Bebe, kahit isang gabi na lang po. Please?” Sabi ni Mark na lumapit at kumapit sa mga braso ni Tita Bebe. Nagpupumiglas si Tita Bebe, inaalis ang kamay ng pamangking umiiyak.

“Ay nako! Tigilan mo ako Mark. Dalawang buwan ka ng walang bayad! Umalis ka na nga dito!” Sigaw ni Tita Bebe habang umiiwas sa kapit ni Mark. “Tita, please?” Imbis naman na pagbigyan ni Tita Bebe ang pamangkin, kinuha nito ang walis tingting na nasa may pintuan ng bahay. “Bitawan mo ako! Umalis ka na dito! Pag balik ko dito bukas at andito ka pa rin, ipa-pupulis na kita!” Sabi ni Tita Bebe habang hinahampas-hampas ang hindi lumalabang si Mark. Tahimik lang siyang nagmamakaawa pero iniwan lang siya ng tita niya.

Gustong bumaba ni Charles, kaya lang dahil sa hindi naman talaga dapat siya nandito, pinigilan niya na lang ang sarili. Ilang minutes later, nakatayo pa rin si Mark dun sa pwesto niya. Hanggang sa bigla itong napaupo sa kalsada, umiiyak. Dahil doon, hindi na nag isip pa si Charles at lumabas ng kotse at pinuntahan si Mark.

“Sta. Maria, okay ka lang ba?” Tanong ni Charles when he got closer. He carefully placed his hands on the either side of Mark’s arms, the latter flinched and glared at him. “Anong ginagawa mo dito?” hindi nakasagot si Charles kaya tinalikuran na lang siya ni Mark na kinuha ang dalawang bags na may lamang damit. Yun lang naman gamit niya dun sa bahay na yon.

“Teka, san ka pupunta?”

“Bakit ba? Ano bang pake mo?” Napa atras si Charles sa tanong kasi ano nga naman ba talaga pake niya? Bakit parang worried siya? Bakit parang malungkot siyang nakikitang umiiyak si Mark.

“Sta. Maria-“

“Tangina naman Blanco, ano bang kailangan mo? Ilang araw mo na akong di nilulubayan. Kung gaganti ka, gawin mo na. Ano bubugbugin mo ako? Dali oh, suntukin mo na ako.” Sabay kuha ng kamay ni Blanco na akmang susuntukin ang sarili. Pinipigil ni Charles yung galaw kaya wala na ring nagawa si Mark kundi maluhod sa harap ni Charles.

Mahina pa rin na nag sasalita si Mark ng “Sige, suntukin mo ako. Sapakin mo na ako.” Habang umiiyak. At kahit hindi talaga maintindihan ni Charles ang sarili, kung bakit niya ba ito ginagawa, hinigit niya patayo si Mark at niyakap. “Shhh. Tahan na. Hindi naman kita sasaktan.”  _ Hindi nga ba?  _ “Tahan na Mark, andito lang ako. Shhh. Tahan na.”

Maya maya nasa condo na ni Blanco si Mark. “Dito ka na muna, bakante yang isang kwarto. Pwede ka jan mag stay hanggat wala kang malilipatan.” Mapulang mapula pa rin ang mga mata ni Mark at hindi directly tumitingin sa mata ni Charles.

“Salamat, pero bukas na bukas maghahanap na rin agad ako ng pwede kong lipatan.”

“Hindi mo-“

“Blanco.” Wala na rin nagawa si Charles, kaya naman iniwan niya na ito sa kwarto.

  
  
  
  


Halos hindi nakatulog si Charles dahil kahit naman nag pipigil si Mark na marinig ang boses niya, naririnig niya pa rin ito. It was past 1 already when the crying stopped, kahit na gusto sanang lumapit ni Charles to comfort his classmate, he didn’t do anything. Mark needed to be alone so he gave him his space.

Pag gising ni Charles, wala na si Mark. Hapon pa ang class niya kaya di na sila nag pang-abot, pero kahit pala yung bags ni Mark wala na din. Medyo nalungkot don si Charles, pero di niya inamin sa sarili. Mark isn’t even his friend but why does he feel a separation anxiety. Pag punta niya ng kitchen, may nilutong breakfast si Mark. Fried egg at meat loaf. Tapos may note na “Sorry, nangealam ako sa kusina mo, pero sana ako okay lang. Ito lang kaya ko gawin bilang pasasalamat sa pagpapatuloy mo sakin ng isang gabi. Salamat, Blanco.” Agad na naupo si Charles kahit hindi naman talaga siya kumakain ng umagahan.

Hindi nakita ni Charles si Mark buong maghapon iniisip na baka naghahanap siya ng matutuluyan kaya naman nagbakasakali siya na puntahan sa coffee shop.

Andon nga si Mark nagpupunas ng tables at naglilinis ng mga kalat ng mga putanginang estudyanteng hindi marunong mag imis ng pinagkainan. Bigla silang nagkatinginan nung pumasok si Charles. “Anong ginagawa mo dito?” Bungad ni Mark na halatang pagod at problemado. “Magkakape ako.” Sagot ni Charles. Mark rolled his eyes and went back to the counter to take Charles’ order. “Um, one Café American-”

“Mark! Sorry! Negats.” Biglang sumulpot mula sa kitchen si Janina. Tita ni Janina ang may ari nitong Coffee Shop. “Di daw pwede kasi hindi mag oopen ng two days itong coffee shop. Diba magbabakasyon sila Tita sa Singapore.” Dirediretso ito kasi hindi niya naman napansin si Charles, akala nya silang dalawa lang. “Okay lang, Janina. Try ko na lang dun sa 24 hours open na fast food chain mag stay.”

“Mark, nakausap mo na ba yung tita mo?”

“Oo pero ayaw niya na talaga hanggat di ako nakakabayad.”

“Pwede ka naman magstay sa condo.” Biglang sumabat si Charles which surprised Janina. “Oh you’re here.” She said quietly. Charles gave her a small smile before turning his attention back to Mark. “Until you find another place na sana hindi naman fast food restaurant or public place.” He continued coaxing Mark yet still very careful with his tone.

Janina nudged Mark, “Sige na, with the way you look right now, I think mas makakapag rest ka kung makakahiga ka ng maayos.” she whispered. And maybe it was the exhaustion taking over, he weakly nodded and said, “Isang gabi pa ulit.” Kahit na Charles wanted to argue na kahit ilang days pa, he didn’t push through. “Okay, let’s go home together later. I’ll wait for you.” Charles replied before giving Mark a comforting smile. He wasn't expecting Mark to agree just like that pero it made him happy.

It was almost as soon as makasakay sila sa sasakyan nang makatulog si Mark. So Charles drove quietly, turned his music volume down so Mark could rest peacefully. When they reached the building of the condo, he gently woke Mark up. “Akyat na tayo sa taas, para makapag pahinga ka na.” He said calmly while ushering Mark out of the car. They were quiet the whole elevator ride with Charles sneaking glances at Mark whose eyes are closed.

Pagdating nila sa condo, agad na nagsalita si Mark. “Salamat na pag-stayin mo ulit ako dito ngayong gabi. Promise, bukas may mahahanap na ako.” 

“Sabi ko naman sayo pwede kang magstay dito hanggat wala ka nahahanap. Wala namang gumagamit nung kwartong pinapagamit ko sa’yo.”

“Pero-“

“Mark. Di naman kita pipigilan pag may nahanap ka na talaga, pero hanggat wala pa, pwede ka dito. At least here you have a comfortable bed, a comfort room, a clean place to rest, unlike...” Mark bowed his head while nodding meekly. “Sige na, magpahinga ka na. May fresh towel sa CR, you can use it. I also have a spare toothbrush don. You can use anything.”

“Okay, pero let me just do this.” Mark fetched something from his bag. It’s a green ref magnet which looks something wrapped in a banana leaf. “Ano yan?” Charles asked, walking closer to see what Mark had placed on his ref. “Binagol.” Mark replied and it made Charles go into a laughing fit. “Wag mo akong tawanan.” Charles didn’t say anything cos he couldn’t say it. _ Pota ang cute. _

One night turned into two, then three, then four, until it became weeks. It’s not like Mark stopped looking for a vacant and cheap apartments, kahit nga bedspace papatusin niya na. Pero school and part-time work are taking up too much of his time.

Every morning, nagluluto si Mark ng breakfast kahit minsan may 7AM siyang class. He always, always cook for Charles. He also cleans the house, and do every single chore he can do just so he could pay Charles’ kindness. Minsan naman sabay sila pumapasok pag sabay classes nila. Napapadalas na din yung pag higit sama nila Pao at Uy kay Charles dun sa coffee shop.

“Someone proposed sa coffee shop kahapon.” Mark said, smiling, while flipping the eggs on the pan. Charles is also in the kitchen, making 2 cups of coffee, for him and for Mark. “Nag ‘yes’ naman ba?” Charles replied as he glanced at Mark who still has his back on him. Charles was never a morning person, but ever since Mark came, kahit na hapon pa class niya, he wakes up early. Just so he could spend his morning like this.

“Hulaan mo!” Mark replied while looking back at him. As soon as their eyes meet, Charles was caught off guard. _Madaya_ , he thought. Parehas silang bagong gising, but why does Mark look so beautiful. “Yes?” Charles said which made Mark nod his head like a child. Then, the smile carefully left his face. Charles walked closer to him, side by side na sila. “How’s work ba?” He asked while gently nudging the other’s shoulder.

“Same same. Hindi na pumayag si Ma’am na mag take pa ako ng extra shift kasi baka hindi na daw ako matulog. Pero nahihiya na kasi ako sa’yo. Sabi ko aalis din ako agad, and yet...” He said sadly as he turns off the stove. Charles braved himself up at marahang ipinataong ang mga kamay sa balikat ni Mark. “You don’t need to worry. I’m not gonna kick you out. You’re always welcome to stay.”

“Thank you.” Sagot ni Mark and he couldn’t help but feel guilty? He judged Charles so hard, pero siya ngayon yung tumutulong sakanya. He really thought Charles is one of those assholes pero look at him right now. He has softest touch, gentlest voice, and the warmest hug. “You’re welcome.” Charles replied as he engulf Mark deeper into his arms.

  
  
  
  
  


“Wow! Anong meron?” Charles beamingly asked habang kinukuha ang box ng pizza sa kamay ni Mark. “Dumating na yung pay ko!” Mark replied while placing a box of chicken wings and pasta sa table. “Since you don’t want to accept a rental fee, lilibre na lang kita ng food.” Charles then proceeded to ruffle his housemate’s hair. “you really didn’t have to, but thank you.”

The night was spent watching shows on Netflix. They watched Four Sisters and a Wedding for the nth time, pero hanggang ngayon, naiiyak pa rin silang dalawa. _Ma, I'm sorry, ma._

After the movie, Mark volunteered to wash the dishes pero insistent si Charles. “This is a part of my treat.” Mark said habang dinadala yung plates sa kitchen. When he reached the sink, Charles stood behind him, enclosing him with his arms.

“Ayaw mong pumayag, tutulungan na lang kita.” it was uncalled for. It was awkward, at first, but the way Mark turned to him with a warm smile washed away all Charle’s worries. Nauna matapos magsabon si Mark ng plates pero di pa tapos magbanlaw si Charles. “Let me goooo.” Mark said, giggling kasi every time he tries to duck his head and escape from Charle's arms, iniipit lang siya nito.

Gusto na umalis ni Mark pero biglang nagsalita si Charles. “Dito ka na lang muna.” They don’t know who started what, but a little moment later, Mark is facing him with his arms wrapped around Charles’ torso. A soft hum coming out from him with Charle’s cheek resting against Mark’s. Kanina pa tapos magbanlaw si Charles, turned off na ang faucet, pero they’re still in each other’s arms, dancing to the beat of their own hearts.

Then that started happening frequently. They cuddle, a lot. As soon as Mark gets home, Charles would pull him towards the couch. He’d brush his hair, draw circles on his back and ask how his days was. And he’d always be the bigger spoon, kasi it gives him a sense of pride that if he’s here, like this with Mark, no one can hurt Mark. 

  
  
  
  
  


“Anong gagawin mo later?” Charles asked as soon as he started the car. They’re on their way to the university. It’s friday kaya naman both were in a good mood. “May inventory kami sa shop kaya I might go home a little late. I’m sorry di kita maipapagluto.” Sagot ni Mark na medyo nadown ang mood. But Charles was quick to cheer him up. “Hey, it’s okay. Nag chat din si Pao and Uy na mag movie marathon daw kami later.” Charles said after nudging Mark’s chin with his finger. Mark nodded his head and flashed Charles his loving smile. _Patay ka na talaga, Blanco._

Then the hand found its way to Mark’s left thigh. It is its new favorite place whenever he’s driving. Kung hindi si Charles ang may ari ng kamay na yon, Mark would have flipped. But it is Charles and Charles presence is so damn comforting.

Eleven. Mark read the time on his watch. Charles, Pao and Gideon must have been on their second or third movie already pero ito siya, pauwi pa lang. When he reached home, it was unusually quiet, very not like when Pao and Gideon’s presence are there.

Nakatulala lang si Charles when he saw him sa sala. “Movie marathon ka mag-isa?” Tanong ni Mark habang dumadaan sa likod ni Charles para kumuha ng tubig. “Andyan ka na pala. Hindi. Hindi dapat, kasi supposedly diba kasama sila Pao at Uy kaya lang nagka emergency so postponed.” Sagot ni Charles habang sinusundan ng tingin si Mark sa kusina.

Namamayat yata si Mark kasi pumayag na yung boss niya na habaan shift niya sa coffee shop para extra income tapos dami pang projects at research na pinapagawa. Lumalalim na yung mga mata saka medyo numinipis na yung pisngi. “Magpapahinga ka na ba? Gusto mong kumain muna? Medyo napadami tong order ko.” Napatigil si Mark at napaisip pero dahil sa pag tunog ng tiyan niya, inabot na lang ni Charles yung braso niya at hinigit siya para umpo sa tabi nito.

Kumain sila habang nagpplay yung movie ng Dead Kids sa tv. Hanggang sa maubos yung food, hindi na umalis si Mark, nakinood na rin siya. Focus na focus si Mark sa panood dahil nagagandahan siya. Focus na focus din si Charles sa panood kay Mark kasi nagagandahan din siya. _Pota talaga._

Kahit hirap na hirap si Charles, pinipilit niyang magfocus pero nawala lahat ng efforts nung maramdaman niya humiga sa balikat niya ang tulog at pagod na si Mark. He should be used by now sa feeling na ganito since may pagka-cuddle bear si Mark. Pero paano naman siya masasanay kung every time gagawin ito ni Mark parang lalo lang siyang nahuhulog.

  
  
  


When Charles awoke, they’re still lying on the sofa, buti na lang medyo malaki ito kaya kasya sila pero magkayap na magkayakap dapat. Nakasiksik ang mukha ni Mark sa leeg niya habang siya nama’y nakasiksik sa buhok ng housemate. They’re using the same shampoo yet bakit parang mas mabango yung buhok ni Mark.

Nauna siyang nagising kaya gulat siya nang maramdaman ang mahigpit na pagkakayakap ni Mark. At kahit na alam niyang maling disisyon ang gagawin niya, itinuloy niya pa rin at tiningnan ang mukha ng tulog na housemate. “Tangina, anong ginawa mo sakin Sta. Maria.” Mahina niya bulong habang hinahawi ang bangs nito.

“Yung puso ko tangina.” Sabay mulat ni Mark. Nagfreeze si Charles, dahil baka masapak nanaman ni Mark. Pero laking gulat niya ng nagsalita ito “Good morning. Five minutes.” Ngumiti ito saglit hanggang sa tuluyang nakatulog ulit.  _ Thank you, Lord, buhay pa ako. _

Mabuti na lang lumuwag ang yakap ni Mark nang muli itong nakatulog kasi kung hindi, hindi na siya babangon. like, ever, dun na lang siya sa couch with Mark. Kinuha na ni Charles ang pagkakataong ito para tumayo at umalis. Pero syempre kinumutan niya muna si Mark bago ito mabilis na naligo para magprepare ng breakfast. Hindi siya kasing galing mag luto ni Mark kaya naman he’s praying na sana kahit yung effort na lang yung mapansin.

When he reached the university, medyo napaaga siya he needs to be alone and calm himself kasi tangina yung puso niya kanina. Sobrang invested siya sa thoughts niya hindi niya napansin ang paglipas ng oras. It has been an hour and a half already pero he’s still as livid as earlier.

Then his phone beeped, may message si Mark.

_“Thank you sa breakfast. Mas masarap luto ko pero pwede na. :P”_ Charles replied with _“Oo mas masarap luto mo, di ko naman kino-kontra. I hope you’re well rested. : )”_

_“I am. Thank you, again. Nasa school ka na ba?”_ And their messages went on and on the whole day. Charles is on the verge of finding Mark to give him a bear hug or hide away so he could enjoy their exchange of messages the whole day. Come by lunch and who would have thought Charles Blanco is the type of guy to send a message like _“Have you eaten your lunch already? Kain ka na kung hindi pa ha. Stay hydrated din.”_ Mark is as red as a tomato and it got Janina worried.  _ Charles fucking Blanco will be the death of me. _

On Charles' way to his last class, nakakasalubong niya na si Tita Velma, head ng scholarship office sa school nila also kapatid ng Mommy niya. “Hijo, Charles!” Bati nito na sobrang ikinagulat ng binata. Everything suddenly went back to his head. _Shit._ He almost forgot.

“I checked Sta. Maria’s qualifications and credentials. Hanggang ngayon hindi pala hindi niya pa rin naipapasa yung good moral ang right conduct niya sa previous school niya. It can be a ground for the cancellation of his scholarship.” Namutla si Charles because if he had heard it before. he would have been laughing now pero he’s nowhere near happy right now.

“Tita no! Don’t do it.”

“What? You were the one who told me to review his scholarship files, to see if he’s really qualified-“

“No tita please stop na.”

“But I already told the director about this an hour ago.-“

Charles ran papunta sa office of the director, fearing na pinatawag na si Mark and lo and behold, Mark is on his way out of the room. His eyes were red and he’s biting his lips so hard Charles fears magsusugat na ito.

“Mark.” Mark turned to him and tears fell. “Sinungaling ka, Charles.” Sabi nito na akmang iiwan siya.

“Mark, let me explain.” Sabi ni Charles pero tuloy tuloy lang si Mark kaya hinabol niya ito hanggang makarating sila sa parking lot. “Mark! Mark Sta. Maria! Let me fucking explain!”

“Explain? Ano bang i-e-explain mo? Na it was your whole plan to make and break me? Dun mo talaga ako pinatira sa condo mo to keep me close pero all you really wanted to do was strip me off with my scholarship, my only hope in this hellhole life of mine!” Charles is sure, he heard his heart breaking. This wasn’t how it’s supposed to be.

“Mark, I’m gonna be honest with you, I wanted my revenge, pero… pero this isn’t what I wanted, not, at least, now.” Charles tried to reason out, but it’s clear in Mark’s eyes that he’s not taking it well. “Mark, it all changed when I realized na I’m in love with you. You don’t even know what you did to me.” This wasn't how he wanted to confess, but he's getting too desperate.

“See. Umamin ka rin. I gave you your chance to punch me to beat the shit out of me. Sana ginawa mo na noon. Tangina Blanco, when you said you were not gonna hurt me, I refused to believe you. Pero days went by and you proved that you meant what you said, I trusted you. Pero tangina talaga, di mo lang sinaktan, winasak mo ako! And you expect me na maniwala sa’yo? In love ka sa akin, after everything? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Mark wiped all he tears, not even looking at Charles anymore.

“Please forget your feelings towards me. I will never return your love.” And that’s the last thing Charles heard before Mark left and it hurt like hell because he felt like he’s leaving for good.

It was a saturday, meaning him, Pao and Uy are scheduled to go to 20:20, but he's in his car on his way to somewhere without telling anyone. He doesn’t want to go home, doesn’t want to see his empty home and feel Mark’s non-existent presence.

Everything then passed by in a blur.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


2 months later...

Charles still communicates with Pao and Uy but whenever the two opens up about Mark, he’d shut them down. He told the two where he’s currently staying at but threatened to do something really really bad to them if they told his father about it.

However, It’s when his Dad finally called him to go home kasi if won’t show up, he’ll cut all of Charles’ allowance. All of Charle’s savings were running low. When he comes home, his guts were true. It was as if Mark never stayed there. All his belongings were all gone. Except for the ref magnet from Tacloban na dala pa ni Mark from his old house. It’s still there, still on the same spot where Mark placed him. _Wag mo akong tawanan._

When Charles showed up sa school everyone was surprised, because it was as if a different Charles came back. He doesn’t talk that much even before pero now he’s barely responding to anyone who’s talking to him.

Even after two months of loathing and repenting, wala e, his guilt is still eating him. Lalo na’t hindi niya na nakikita si Mark. Pao and Uy tried to invite him to bars and clubs, but even if Charles goes with them, he’s just quietly drinking. Tapos uuwi na lang siya nang walang nakakaalam.

Mark is still nowhere in sight. 

It was one of those nights, sumama nanaman siya kila Pao and Uy only to leave after a few bottles, again. But shit, his home makes him feel so lonely and alone kaya di muna siya umuwi. he unconsciously drove papunta dun sa coffee shop where Mark used to work. It’s already closed since it’s past 12 already pero he stayed there for a few minutes. He doesn’t know how long.

It’s past 1AM when he went home. Ayaw niya pa talaga, wala din naman siyang gagawin. Hindi rin siya makatulog. But then he has been out the whole day, pagod na siya, di lang nakiki-cooperate yung utak niya.

When he reached his floor, he saw a small figure na nakasandal sa door niya. It was Mark. He’s certain about it. “Hi Charles. Finally, kanina pa ako naghihintay.” Mark gave him a small smile. Fuck he missed that smile. _Sana lang totoo. Sana lang hindi siya nananaginip._

_ Tangina Blanco, lasing ka ba?  _ Sabi ni Charles sa sarili niya bago pumikit at malakas na nagbilang hanggang tatlo. Pero pag mulat niya, _t_ __angina anjan_ pa rin siya _ . Ang masama nito, tumawa pa. “Oo, andito pa rin ako, Charles. Kanina pa kitang 11:30 iniintay. Sabi kasi ni Pao sakin kanina ka pang 10PM umalis sa 20:20.” Di na nagpigili si Charles, agad itong lumpait para yakapin si Mark. “Tangina, imagination lang ba kita? Nababaliw na ba ako?” Tinawanan lang ito ni Mark, pero niyakap niya pa rin ito.

“Kamusta ka naman, Charles? Di ka man lang nagparamdam.” Sabi ni Mark as soon as makaupo sila sa couch just like the old days. Somehow hindi pa rin makapaniwala si Charles, Mark coule tell kaya kinurot niya ito sa braso. “Ano ba Charles. Totoo ako.” Sabi nito nang nakangiti. Si Charles naman napabuntong hininga na lang.

“I’m sorry, Mark. The past months, I did nothing but reflect and repent. I know, no amount of sorry will ever make you forgive me. Hell, I know I don’t even deserve it. I tried to reach out to you, pero I think I don’t deserve your time. I just hope you’re doing well or better since I left.” Mark stared directly at his eyes.

“Well, I think I should say sorry din.” Mark stated which made Charles look back to him. “Ha? What for? You did nothing wrong. I was the one who fucked everything up.” Mark smiled while shaking his head. “I have to say sorry, I overreacted. That afternoon na kinausap ako ni director, he only said na they tried to review my scholarship files kasi may kulang pa ako. He said that you were the one who suggested it.” Charles cringed. “Pero he told me not to worry kasi they called my previous school na. And it will be settled as soon as possible. That’s why I am sorry. I was just so hurt na because I thought you were feeling the same way towards me. You were so nice and sweet. Bakit ganon?” Mark laughed.

“I’m sorry. You’re not mad at me anymore?” Charles asked, still testing the waters. “No, I’m not mad anymore. You are forgiven. Stop saying sorry na.” Mark replied and opened his arms oh-so-carefully. Charles dived in and cradled Mark’s body in his arms. God he really missed him so bad.

“I just got here from Tacloban.” Mark said a little later then he went on and explained that it was his mother’s birthday and it was his first time to go back there in two years. Charles listened to every word Mark said. Even the pauses and breathe, he listened to it all. It was probably the alcohol because he doesn’t know how or when but he fell asleep.

When he woke up, Mark’s no longer there. He panicked and almost cried kasi _‘puta panaginip lang ba yon?’_ but he calmed down when he saw the food in the kitchen. It has a note, like the first time Mark cooked for him. “I had to leave early, Janina needs help sa coffee shop. Eat well!”

The next time they saw each other, Mark was on the other side of the hallway, he greeted him with a wave but they didn’t talk. Hindi nagchchat or text si Charles. It had been a month, okay na sila. they greet each other whenever they pass by one another, but it doesn’t go beyond that. Though Charles would admit every time he sees him he wants to talk to him, pull him for a hug,  _ kiss him. _

He wants to invite him back to his condo to watch or even visit him sa coffee shop where he works. Pero every time he thinks about it, everything flashes back in his head. He doesn’t want to inflict pain towards him anymore, kaya rather than taking the risk of talking to him again, _wag na lang_. He should be contented na Mark found a heart to forgive him kahit hindi deserve. Sobra na siguro kung hilingin niya pang ma-return yung feelings niya.

May party ulit sila sa 20:20, Charles didn’t want to go kasi wala siya sa mood, but when Uy texted him na Mark’s wasted and someone needs to bring him home, di na siya nag alinlangan pa.

When he reached 20:20 Mark’s already sleeping by the counter. “Mark, tara. Hatid na kita.” He said to the still sleepy and very drunk Mark. Then, Janina comes near him, masama tingin. “Tama na pagiging gago, Blanco. Character development naman jan.” Confused si Charles pero di na siya nakapagsalita dahil nagsalita na ulit si Janina. “Mag-usap kayo, I think deserve niyo naman mas mapakinggan pa ang isa’t-isa. Pero isa pang beses na saktan mo kaibigan ko, mag paalam ka na sa kanya.”

Charles nodded and gave Janina a small smile.  _ Tama. Baka pwede pang magtake ng last risk. Baka pwede pa. _

Tulog na tulog pa rin si Mark kaya dun na lang sa condo niya dinala ito. Di rin naman niya alam san na to nakatira. When they reached the condo, medyo nagising si mark. “Blaco, it’s you pala.” He said as the taller helps him take his shoes off pati na rin yung flannel shirt to change into a more comfortable shirt.

“Bakit ka ba naglasing ng ganito? Are you not okay?” Mark, as if he’s suddenly sober looks straight into his eyes and said, “I can barely open my eyes right now. Mag usap tayo pag gising ko.” Charles nodded and helped Mark lie down. “Okay. Magpahinga ka na.” He didn’t leave his side until an hour later. He only held his hand and kissed the back of it.  _ Tangina, mahal pa rin kita. _

When Charles woke up, Mark was still sleeping on the spare bed. However, it didn’t last long when the guy suddenly stood up, nakahawak sa bibig at nagmamadaling pumunta sa CR. Charles helped him by keeping him standing, “Kapit ka sa lababo, I’ll get a glass of water for you.” Tumango si Mark while his eyes are still closed. A little later, dumating na si Charles who made him drink water.

Mark’s started feeling better after niyang mailabas yung dapat na lumabas. Charles made him sit sa couch while he’s wiping his face and arms with a cold wet towel. “Matulog ka pa. I’ll buy buko juice for you, heard it’s good for hangovers.” Patayo na sana si Charles pero pinigilan siya ni Mark. “Tabihan mo ako?” He said, his hand clutching tightly around Charle’s wrist. “Tabihan mo ako?” akala ni Charles, tabi lang talaga pero as soon as lumapat likod niya, Mark made his way to lie down on his chest.

“Wag mo akong iiwan ha.” Mahinang bulong nito. “Ha?” Sagot ni Charles na kahit kinakabahan at hindi alam ang gagawin, kusang kumilos ang katawan nito para yakapin ng mahigpit ang dating housemate. Old habits die hard. Tumingin sa kanya si Mark sabay sabing “Iniwan mo ako ah. Right after mong mag confess na in-love ka sakin, bigla kang nawala.”

Para bang naipit ang dila ni Charles after marinig ang sinabi ni Mark. Wala siyang nagawa kundi ang tumitig pabalik kay Mark. Napa-scrunch na lang ng ilong si Mark after walang marinig na sagot from him sabay higa ulit sa chest nito.

  
  
  
  


“I’m sorry, Mark.”

“Bakit?” Bigla ulit napatingin si Mark kay Charles, nangingig ang boses. “Hindi mo na ba ako mahal?” Charles shook his head and carefully cupped Mark’s face. “No. I never stopped loving you.”

“Then why are you saying sorry? Matagal na kitang pinatawad.” Mark said weakly,  _ mali ba ang intindi ko sa’yo? _ “Don’t tell me, ako ang hindi mo pa mapatawad?”

“No, baby, no.” Charles slipped, pero siguro nga ito na yung time na dapat na maging matapang siya. “When you forgave me, I was so happy. Pero akala ko yun na yon. Akala ko wala ng chance, tayo, ako.” Charles then kissed Mark’s forehead. “I wanted to call you. I wanted to hug you. to kiss you. to be with you. Pero paano kung ayaw mo. Paano kung hanggang pagpapatawad na lang kaya mong ibigay. Don’t get me wrong, it was enough, more than enough. I’m sorry, baby. I was just scared.”

Hindi napansin ni Mark na lumuluha na pala siya. All the while, he thought Charles was really able to work his feelings out all those months. “But I told you, the last time we talked. I was hurt because I thought you were feeling the same way towards me.” Charles wiped Mark’s tears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I hope it’s not yet too late.” Inilapit ni Charles yung forehead niya sa forehead ni Mark.

“I love you, Mark. I love you, baby, so much.” This prompted Mark to cry even more, he thought that this was his last chance to fix his relationship with Charles. He was on the verge of giving up. He’s so happy he couldn’t stop crying. “Baby, please tahan ka na. Mahal na mahal kita.”

“Mahal na mahal din kita, Charles. Wag ka nang aalis.” Charles nodded and found himself tearing up as well.

Charle’s hands found their place back to Mark’s jaws. Slowly, he’s inching closer to Mark, kissing his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose, and he stopped right in front of his lips. “Are you sure you’re gonna kiss me? Kakasuka ko lang.” Mark said oh so quietly, his lids almost close. Charles didn’t say anything, he just leaned in closer. Leaving soft pecks on his lips. Soft. Gentle. Yet yearning achingly. “I love you.” he said as he kissed him deeper.

“I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
  


A week after they got together, Mark moved back in to Charle’s condo. However this time, they share one bed. “Charles- uh!” Mark got cut when Charles thrusted a little too hard, perfectly hitting a certain bundle of nerves inside him. “Yes, baby?” The taller asked, peppering feather kisses on Mark’s neck. There were marks, some were fresh some were about to fade. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna come.” To this, Charles thrusted harder until Mark reached his peak where the former followed after.

“Thank you for coming into my life.” Charles said after kissing Mark’s lips. “That was so corny!”


End file.
